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Being a juggler

I’m writing this blog at my parents house. Truth be told, I’m going through a bit of an insecure time. Freelancing at the moment isn’t super reliable, my side-job at the moment isn’t either, rental prices are insane, my grandpa has health problems & also, on top of that, sadly going through a little bit of heartbreak. So a lot of things going on at the moment. There’s also positive things, but it was a difficult period and I only now have time for a blogpost. I have stopped writing blogs for Artez but I really liked documenting my progress and how I navigate trying to be a professional illustrator, which, sometimes is quite hard!

I love the freedom of freelancing, deciding your own hours, being your own boss. I love creating and trying new things. I love the rush of getting a client and them approving your work and seeing it really be used. I love the thought of my work everywhere, and it making people happy by looking at it. But I often do hate the insecurity it gives me, something I have difficulty with anyway (I love things clear & decided!). I hate having to a lot of networking and acquisition and having to discipline my self each and every day. I’m very capable of doing all those things, but especially the insecure income can be stressful, which at the moment (especially with corona) is a bigger thing than I would like it to be.

I haven’t decided yet, because I do love being my own boss and deciding my own hours, think I would like a part-time, maybe more stable job next to freelancing. Definitely a creative job, I don’t mean the side-job I’m doing right now, but something that brings in a standard amount of money & also a little joy each month would be nice. I would love to maybe be an art teacher (maybe not in a high school though) as well. I get a lot of satisfaction from talking about art, giving feedback and helping people grow, so I could see myself helping students (although maybe when I’m a bit older). So this is me just throwing that thought out into the universe. Art academies that are reading this: I would love to teach some students for a semester, to try it out. Maybe as a guest teacher first! 😉

I’ve noticed a lot more creatives at this time are feeling the same insecurities I’m feeling at the moment. It sometimes feels like you’re Sisyphus hauling this large rock on top of the hill, only for it to fall down and have to start all over again. I’m trying to keep in mind that my creativity has a lot of uses and how much of a gift it really is. Things that are helping me right now is thinking of my own creative projects, working on my website and reaching out to people, not only people that can give me work, but also people that go through the same thing. I’ve also been working on some new out-of-comfort-zone projects so I can challenge myself creatively . I’m now sort of making a quilt, something I’ve wanted to do for a while (I’m always so inspired by old and warm cottage like things!!). And I’m trying to learn how to screen-print from home! I always love learning new skills and I’ve noticed I’ve been neglecting that a little bit this year. There’s a lot of juggling going on, so skill-improvement is low on the list.

Starting out in your twenties I think is always quite difficult (starting out in general is of course) and right now I’m thinking a lot about finding my own way in life and how I want to fill it in. My work always focused on making joy out of the small things in life, embracing what you’ve got and giving the world some colour. Finding your purpose in life can be hard, but I am keeping in mind that I don’t have to really know everything right now. I don’t have to know if what I’m doing is the right choice, or if I would still like to do this when I’m 40. I don’t have to know right now if I’m going to have a nice house when I’m older or if I’m going to find someone who I can adopt a cat with. I don’t really know anything right now, but I do think it is all worth trying.


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